Friday, January 28, 2011

An epiphany


listen to the word 
an epiphany

i suddenly drawn into this word
few days back
i asked hubby to search for it's meaning
beautiful meaning...

An epiphany (from the ancient Greek ἐπιφάνεια, epiphaneia, "manifestation, striking appearance") is the sudden realization or comprehension of the (larger) essence or meaning of something. The term is used in either a philosophical or literal sense to signify that the claimant has "found the last piece of the puzzle and now sees the whole picture," or has new information or experience, often insignificant by itself, that illuminates a deeper or numinous foundational frame of reference.

and weird things happened
i listened to the word again..
this time
in the radio
when yesterday i listened to an interview with
Conversion: Lauren booth chose to become a Muslim after a holy experience at a shrine in Iran

The 43-year-old mother of two, who has long sympathised with the Muslim cause, described how she had a religious awakening six weeks ago on a visit to a shrine in the Iranian holy city of Qom. ‘I sat down and felt this shot of spiritual morphine, just absolute bliss and joy,’ she said. The former reality TV contestant decided to convert immediately on her return to Britain. ‘I always felt that the ummah [Muslim community] is a very loving, peaceful place and I am proud to be a member of it,’ she said. 

 it was very calming feeling to just listen at her voice
my feeling is mixed
i was stunned
i  was to cry
i was happy
i was overwhelmed

from the interview, she  said that when she 1st when to the mosque
she feels the epiphany when she said to Allah :
'thank you for this experience'
she didn't want to get up
she just sit there and stay calm
the feeling was like taking morphine after a surgery
and she was blessed since then,

another thing that, she told
that she is muslim for 14 weeks now
and already read page 200+ of Al Quran
and memories 32 of Allah names....
i am so touched by her....

and she also said that she didnt missed old days
when she did drank alcohol and didnt cover her aurat
because this religion thought her
' to add more value to herself , not taking away something '

compared to me
the born and rise as Muslim
i am weak from the inside...
i suddenly feeling that i am bad servant to Allah

my mission now is realizing
the wonders and joy of living in this world
and prepare myself for Akhirat
and stay happy here...
because in the end
that is the place for me

as for today
i already start recite a surah
and which i will continue to do so...
i am feeling calm and strong...
i have Him with me
i need to get closer....
Ya Allah..

thanks for today
and i pray that You
will be here for me
i want to always ask for Your Love

................................2.06 pm